I started reading a new book yesterday, "Feel the fear and do it anyway". It was 99p in a charity shop so well worth a punt.
I've only read the first couple of chapters and it seems good, 15m copies have been sold so there must be something in it.
It starts of talking about our trust in ourselves meaning we don't think we are very resilient so fear lots of situations because of how we perceive we will cope.
It then goes on to mention how being brought up risk averse can affect you in later life. And that you can be conditioned to think a certain way.
I think I am conditioned to think a certain way and I'm wondering if I'm conditioning my own kids to do the same.
I was quite young (primary school upper juniors I think) when I got my first key to my parents house. We only lived a few doors from the primary school and I probably used to come home alone back then. Outrageous I know. Fortunately the Wet Bandits were in New York.
Anyway, every single day I left the house I was asked 'have you got your key'. It's become a bit of a joke in later life. I wonder what my parents expected to happen if I did forget it (which I never did but check my pockets with an almost OCD like quality even now). I probably would have just walked to one of my two best mates houses that were 30 and 40m away. Or gone to Auntie Doreen across the road (not a real Auntie but everyone seemed to be an Auntie back then). So everything would have been fine, but I guess I got programmed to think it might not be by the constant reminders.
Later once I'd reached pub age I often used to watch casualty with my mum before wandering up the pub. Almost every episode of casualty back then seemed to feature a young bloke walking to the pub and getting caught up in some sort of industrial explosion/ helicopter crash or other unlikely event. Anyway, I was always told to be careful on my way out. And I always checked the sky for the distinctive sound of failing rotor blades.
Trips on holiday were similarly risk averse and I'm sure are where I developed my rule to never drive past a motorway services without stopping for a wee.
I obviously don't want anything to happen to my kids but I also don't want them to inherit my anxiety. So I'm going to try and be a bit more relaxed around them and with them.
We can be programmed to be risk averse, but we can also be re-programmed. Does your software need an update?
Take Care (and for goodness sake be careful out there)
Mr Paul Wyse