I can't wait for 2019 to be over. It's been a(nother) shit year.
It's been another year where I have questioned who I am, what value I add and why I bother to try so hard.
It's been a year of snakes and ladders. I think i'm doing better and doing well then i tread on another snake and go sliding back down again.
It's also been a year of project 'I told you so'. Lots of the things I have been saying for a long time that I think need to happen (at work) have started to happen, this is of course good, but still makes me feel that I'm not valued as I was on the right path but struggled to be listened to, or not listened to enough.
Work has a huge impact on my mental health. It's more than a job for me, it's a representation and a reflection of who I am, what I do, what my values are and what I deliver is my legacy, if that's not too grand and conceited a word to use.
Valuing those who think differently, work differently, even behave differently is really important.
Perhaps changing how (and how often) we value those who (like me) have very low self worth is really important too.
Sometimes (usually / often) the people who think differently, who can't help but be passionate in meetings (perhaps over passionate) have value to add but sometimes (usually / often) they can find it hard for their voice to be heard, or the way they make their voice heard can be misinterpreted or shut down.
I'm rambling now I know, but you can probably tell this has happened a lot to me in 2019.
Mr Paul Wyse