I've written about being a people pleaser before, or I think I have but don't have the time or inclination to go back and look. Which makes me feel bad because I'm not making it easy for whoever is reading this, so i'm not pleasing you, so I'm sorry.
It's bloody hard work being a people pleaser. It dominates my life. Although it might not seem obvious sometimes, like in yesterday's meeting where I tried to stand up for myself and not back down. I felt like I didn't please a colleague and upset them, I hadn't coz i checked today.
When you try and please people it can make it hard in the moment, and make it doubly hard after the moment when you're reflecting on what happened.
I'm trying to take a break from people pleasing at the moment which means taking space from some relationships / friendships in my life.
This is really hard. It is my natural in built DNA to try and people please. I'm used to it and others are used to it to. It makes it even harder to say no, even if that no is to myself.
If i don't feel like (regardless of whether I have any evidence) I have pleased people I feel like a failure, like i have less worth and that I need to try even harder,
Bloody people, always wanting (in my mind) to be pleased
Mr Paul Wyse