I'm pretty sure I must have a condition that makes me a 'nervous apologist' or more likely it's all much more deep seated than that and the apology is to do with my lack of self worth and low self esteem. I am also a people pleaser so I hate letting anyone down. I guess you could also say I'm not confident enough that I'm in the right or not confident enough that most of the time it doesn't actually matter. As a very recent example, I worked on a big conference last week. And put a significant amount of blood, sweat and tears into it for the last 8 weeks. It was good. But some things I forgot, or didn't do how I wanted to, and it's left me feeling like I need to apologise for that too, because I need that reassurance that it was all (more than) ok - that's the 'be perfect' driver rearing its head to sit next to the 'people pleaser' one. I find interesting (you may not and that’s fine) how the way we feel on the inside is demonstrated externally, in my case, by apologising a lot. So in true blog style I’ve borrowed from people much cleverer than me and recycled their advice on what you can do if you’re maybe you're sorry a bit too often, a bit too easily.
I’m going to try, apparently it’s empowering and I could do with a bit of that right now.
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AuthorMr Paul Wyse Archives
January 2021
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