Four weeks into lockdown, one lockdown beard grown then shaved off because it got too itchy, how do ZZ Top manage it? A mixed 4th week for me, with long periods of silence and physical isolation. I'm not socially isolated thanks to technology but it's not the same as physical connection, face to face conversation, seeing someone's smile, laughing together or having a hug. Yesterday I travelled all of 3m into the garden, I'm glad I don't have a fitbit anymore. I know I'm lucky to have a garden and this is making people appreciate the environment and open space more than ever. But I haven't seen anyone face to face for the last 48 hours and that's difficult. The kitchen remains the office, some people have kitchen diners, I have kitchen office and that's not an area I'd ever seen mocked up in IKEA. The kitchen office is weird. It offers both a view of the temptation of the garden, but also a view of the washing up I haven't done yet. The office part has made the kitchen table redundant for any other use. I still have grand plans to get the kids sitting back round the table to eat together and connect, but its a physical impossibility. Working from home affects so many parts of your life. You obviously lose the connection to others but you also lose a physical part of your home. The computer screen is always there staring at you, reminding you about the work you have to do, you can't just close the office door and leave it there. My house is small, 2 rooms downstairs, 2 beds and a bathroom upstairs. It used to just be somewhere that I relaxed, cooked, cleaned and slept. It's now also a school and an office and a warehouse for stockpiling toilet rolls. Its function has completely changed and with that change my mind is having to adapt. It prompted me to look at a list of life's stressors and take a view of where I am with both worry and reality. I've done a red amber green thing with green being all is good, red its bad and amber in between. Reality is less bad than the worry column and it's important to look at reality. But that does not stop the worry, it can ease it yes but not stop it (in my experience).
And one of the worst things for worry is your own company, is a lack of interaction, is spending too much time alone and just with your thoughts. Happiness may have hit her like a train on the tracks but there are a lot of people out there who have too many stressors going on to be happy at the moment. Maybe look at your stressors, which ones are worries and which are actual and see if you can do anything about them, even if the thing you do is give yourself a break for feeling stressed in the middle of these strange times. I'm worried about my kids education but I should give myself a break. I'm worried about the new job I started 3 weeks ago and me not performing but I should give myself a break. I feel lonely but its likely so does everyone else, this is not a FOMO thing, there's nothing to miss out on. I should just go 3 m into the garden and feel the sun on my face and be grateful i've got that. Take care Paul
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AuthorMr Paul Wyse Archives
January 2021
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