Last Thursday marked the end of a 3 day conference I had been involved in organising for many months.
So how did it go I was asked, and I said 'yeah i think it was alright'.
I knew it was more than alright, but my natural take on how it went (and therefore how successful it was and I was) was to say it was alright.
I was talking to my counsellor about this the other day and how I tend to naturally have three states of mind, I succeed and everything is great (this is rare), I fail (this is more common) or it's somewhere in the middle but probably towards the failure end so it's therefore alright.
Often things are black or white, I don't have a very good understanding of a certain number of shades of grey (I obviously have a red room but I write about that in my other blog).
My counsellor told me to look up some words for emotions, heres a list below, I'm going to try and use them to better understand how I actually feel rather than just being happy, sad or alright.
"Right now I feel..."
Joyful , Tenderness, Helpless, Defeated, Rageful, Cheerful, Sympathy, Powerless, Bored, Outraged
Content, Adoration, Dreading, Rejected, Hostile, Proud, Fondness, Distrusting, Disillusioned, Bitter
Satisfied, Receptive, Suspicious, Inferior, Hateful, Excited, Interested, Cautious, Confused, Scornful
Amused, Delighted, Disturbed, Grief-stricken, Spiteful, Elated, Shocked, Overwhelmed, Helpless, Vengeful
Enthusiastic, Exhilarated, Uncomfortable, Isolated, Disliked, Optimistic, Dismayed, Guilty, Numb, Resentful
Elated, Amazed, Hurt, Regretful, Trusting, Delighted, Confused, Lonely, Ambivalent, Alienated
Calm, Stunned, Melancholy, Exhausted, Bitter, Relaxed, Interested, Depressed, Insecure, Insulted
Relieved, Intrigued, Hopeless, Disgusted, Indifferent, Hopeful, Absorbed, Sad, Pity
Pleased, Curious, Guilty, Revulsion, Confident, Anticipating, Hurt, Contempt
Brave, Eager, Lonely, Weary, Comfortable, Hesitant, Regretful, Bored
Safe, Fearful, Depressed, Preoccupied, Happy, Anxious, Hopeless, Angry
Love, Worried, Sorrow, Jealous, Lust, Scared, Uncertain, Envious
Aroused, Insecure, Anguished, Annoyed, Tender, Rejected, Disappointed, Humiliated
Compassionate, Horrified, Self conscious, Irritated, Caring, Alarmed, Shamed, Aggravated
Infatuated, Shocked, Embarrassed, Restless, Concern, Panicked, Humiliated, Grumpy
Trust, Afraid, Disgraced, Awkward, Liking, Nervous, Uncomfortable, Exasperated
Attraction, Disoriented, Neglected, Frustrated.
I think this list is really useful. If we can understand better how we actually feel, then we are more likely to be able to either accept it or take some action to do something about it (assuming we don't want to feel that way) and to help others understand us better.
The ten above are some of those that I have felt today, but I bet if you asked me how I felt I would just say 'alright, how are you'.
So how are you?
p.s. if you want to practice deciding how you feel check out this fact below.....
Mr Paul Wyse