Being yourself, being authentic to who you are is important.
My authentic self means I can be moody, grumpy, sad, snappy and angry / frustrated.
But my authentic self also means I can be playful, fun, innovative, creative and inclusive.
Sometimes parts of your authentic self can upset others, or doesn't fit easily with their authentic selves.
So should you change? And if you do change some parts of your authentic self (if its even possible) how does that affect the other parts of you?
As an example.
Some footballers get a lot of yellow or red cards. Playing a certain way is a big part of their game and what makes them the player they are. It's the reason that they're in the team. That's why they get picked.
Paul Scholes who used to play for Man Utd & England was a player who commonly put in terrible tackles. In 499 premier league appearances he:
But he also:
Bad tackling was part of who he was / is. He has the 3rd highest number of yellow cards in Premier League history. But whilst the way he played the game had its negatives it was coupled with amazing positives which meant he was first on the team sheet.
He played as his authentic self.
My mind, the way I think my ups and downs, my passion, my attention to detail and my impatience to get on with things and take action make me who I am.
They are the things which mean I deliver. Which mean I care so deeply about other people. Which make me sensitive but also prickly (I've been described as a cactus before).
Changing my authentic self is hard because I fear losing the bits which make me great in order to smooth off some of my rough edges.
When you ask someone to change you risk losing the bits you like, because it's all part of the same package.
Accept your authentic self. And accept others. Just don't intentionally hurt anyone and be understanding.
Mr Paul Wyse