I spend a lot of time alone, sometimes even when I'm in a room full of people I'm alone. I understand that's quite common and it boils down to either not feeling like you're understood, or cared for, or more prevalent in my case that my self confidence has peaks and troughs. But conversely I'm never alone coz I've always got that bloody annoying gremlin in my head telling me everyone else is having a better time than me. Loneliness isn't defined as a mental health problem, but you're more likely to be lonely if you have a mental health problem and feeling lonely can impact on your mental health.
You can do lots of things to try and feel less lonely:
Importantly don't expect yourself to magically feel less lonely overnight. Like many things in life changing who you are, how you feel or what you do takes time, so just accept it and it will be more comfortable. Also look back at where you've come from, not always forwards towards some magical nirvana. One of the biggest challenges I have (because of low self esteem) is what happens if I reach out and get rejected, so it's also about tolerating uncertainty. It's important to put up with the distress associated with rejection as this can actually build confidence. Things are very unlikely to be as catastrophic as you will have predicted and you'll lean that it really is a case of 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. I've connected more to people recently, said yes to doing things I wouldn't normally have done (i'm going trampolining on Thursday) and worried less (but still worried some) about what the response might be to me making a suggestion to do something. So, the solution to loneliness lies with you, either to reach out and do something with people, or to reach out to someone who seems lonely Take Care Paul
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AuthorMr Paul Wyse Archives
January 2021
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