’m having a lonely weekend and haven’t spoken to anyone (apart from to say ‘thanks’ in a shop) since Friday. This is not an uncommon situation. I’m also feeling quite low. It’s been like this for weeks. I’ve had some challenges, mostly at work, that have made me question who I am. It’s made me feel more of a failure, ask myself why I am how I am and generally feel shit. One way if manifests itself is in an absolute loss of any motivation. The house is very very messy, clothes that are long dry are drying everywhere. I may need to buy some new plates as they’re all waiting to be washed up. The hoover thinks it has retired. All this mess does not help how I feel but the lack of motivation and feeling like a failure means I don’t sort it out. The solution to this according to work is to ‘reach out’. I have an issues with this as do most people who have felt how I feel. I can’t reach out. It’s almost impossible. I already feel a massive failure so why would I want to call someone to tell them and feel even worse. They are already not reaching out to me. So they don’t care. I mean I know they do but everyone has their own lives and unless you’ve struggled you don’t reach out to others. If you haven’t spoken to someone for a while give them a call. Struggles with mental health and struggles with loneliness are every day. They don't just 'get better' with a few days off.... I appreciate the offer from the 'Tops' but it's not that easy.
Take Care Paul
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AuthorMr Paul Wyse Archives
January 2021
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