With the general election looming there are pre election rules about what public sector colleagues (including myself) can say publicly.
Keeping quiet, not commenting on things that are of interest and feeling like you can't say what you want to say can be hard, some might find it frustrating.
I understand why the system is in place but don’t worry this isn't a blog about pre election rules.
I only mention it to make an analogy, maybe a vague one, but one I think works with mental health.
The weeks up to the election give a taste of what it's like to perhaps have things you want to say but you can't.
See I told you it wasn't about the election.
So it may feel frustrating that you can't say things at the moment, but you understand why.
Imagine what it's like for many people who feel like that every day and are worried or feel restrained from speaking out.
It's great that the recent media interest in MH issues has sparked more debate and put this more in the public eye. Experiencing being seen but not heard and making that link to MH will hopefully help greater understanding of how it can feel. Because if you have empathy and experience you understand better and can help more.
Thanks for reading. If you have to keep quiet then do so.
If there is no rule or guidance saying you have, and there aren't any saying you have to not seek help or talk to people, then please try to. I’m sure it will help.
I'm pretty sure I must have a condition that makes me a 'nervous apologist' or more likely it's all much more deep seated than that and the apology is to do with my lack of self worth and low self esteem. I am also a people pleaser so I hate letting anyone down. I guess you could also say I'm not confident enough that I'm in the right or not confident enough that most of the time it doesn't actually matter.
As a very recent example, I worked on a big conference last week. And put a significant amount of blood, sweat and tears into it for the last 8 weeks. It was good. But some things I forgot, or didn't do how I wanted to, and it's left me feeling like I need to apologise for that too, because I need that reassurance that it was all (more than) ok - that's the 'be perfect' driver rearing its head to sit next to the 'people pleaser' one.
I find interesting (you may not and that’s fine) how the way we feel on the inside is demonstrated externally, in my case, by apologising a lot.
So in true blog style I’ve borrowed from people much cleverer than me and recycled their advice on what you can do if you’re maybe you're sorry a bit too often, a bit too easily.
I’m going to try, apparently it’s empowering and I could do with a bit of that right now.
Mr Paul Wyse