Today a guest blog from my friend Anna about her challenges with SAD and GAD. I haven't known Anna very long or even met her more than a handful of times but we've connected over matters of the mind and I'm really pleased she agreed to put some words down. It took her nearly a year to do so, but everyone is on their own journey so that's ok, just keep moving forward and do things at your own pace. So, over to Anna......
“I suffer from GAD and SAD. These sounds like qualifications, or achievements but ALAS are not. I like to describe myself as an all year round nightmare. I suffer particularly badly, with suffer being the absolutely correct word to use here, with migraines in the summer as high pressure is a big trigger for me, and experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the winter. My Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) just keeps me worried about the two seasons in the time in-between. It has taken me a while to joke about this, as honestly at times it has filled me with complete despair. Like somehow I’m being punished by my body and feeling completely let down by it. This is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, it makes me, me. I have managed my migraines since I was a young teenager and unfortunately for me and 7 million other Brits just “one of those things”. Nothing for me to blame myself for. I was diagnosed with SAD last year. Again, nothing to be ashamed of. Many, many others suffer the same to varying degrees. GAD is a long-term condition that causes you to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than 1 specific event. This can really affect everyday life and can become totally consuming. For me, I wouldn’t be able to get through the day without saying “I’m worried about…” several times which can not only affect my peace of mind but that of those around me. I have tried to manage my anxiety myself, trying to get into a regular habit of meditating (with a mixed response, I pick it up and put it down a bit too much) and practising yoga. I took the decision, and was lucky enough to have the option to invest in myself and have private counselling. This has been the best thing I’ve ever done and my general anxiety has become far more manageable. It will be interesting to see how/if things change when the global pandemic fizzles out and life gets back to some sort of normal. SAD can be totally infuriating, as it can be really unpredictable. Some days will be fine and others it will take every fibre to get out of bed through sadness. I chose to seek help from my GP when I couldn’t manage it myself any longer due to the impacts it was having on my life. I think I probably suffered from SAD for longer than I originally reflected on and it highlights the importance of tracking mood and feelings of hopelessness to be able to arm yourself with the tools to be quite frankly taken seriously. I was really quite anxious to discuss with the GP but again without taking that brave step I wouldn’t have accessed the help I so needed at that time. Understanding that SAD is environmental, and that many people suffer to varying degrees, and that there are positive actions that can be taken to manage it a lot better than I was really helped. I did quite a lot of reading and found the MIND website incredibly useful, and reassuring. SAD lamps, sunrise clocks, getting outside for walks, taking rest. Goodness taking rest has been one of the biggest eye openers for me. Working from home has been excruciating at times, but having the flexibility to have a slower start, wake up in the light, not have to travel in the misery that is winter weather in Britain and getting into a positive habit of walks at lunchtime since the start of the year has made a huge difference. I am one of those people who has come on a big journey with understanding my mental health over the last few years. A conversation I have learnt to keep open through my job as working for an organisation where it encourages openness and support on the matter. The biggest part of this journey for me has happened in the last 14 months, accepting that more help was needed and putting my wellbeing at the top of my priority list which for me does not come naturally. Thanks, Anna
1 Comment
Great post Anna. I have a SAD lamp for winter and take vitamin D supplements which I find helps. Usually I also got in a winter sunshine break but obviously haven’t been able to this year. It’s so hard at the moment as so many of the things that I find helpful are not options (gym, face to face yoga classes, spending time with friends). I just hope this lockdown is over soon.
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AuthorMr Paul Wyse Archives
January 2021
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