you can't always get what you want

Well this has been a weird week.

I've been hit by 2 text message bombshells this week but as Elton would say 'i'm still standing' - I know i've said that in an earlier blog.

I've felt better this week. Either of these bombshell texts should have knocked me down, I should be weeping in the corner, but I'm not.

And the reason why is I think I might be finally starting to understand and accept that I need to be a bit nicer and more considerate to myself. Now this is a significant step in my 'journey' because I know that other peoples feelings have always been more important than mine and accepting that my feelings are important is a majorly big deal.

majorly big - i know this isn't funny

I've said some things this week to people I love that have made me feel mean and bad. But they've needed to be said. Does that make me a bad person, well yes in my eyes it does, but I'm starting to understand that it doesn't actually mean that. I've felt anxious about it, my stomach has been in knots, but I know the reason why is because of what I feel for those I value. It doesn't make me a bad person to love people. I need to remind myself of that.

I've sought a massive amount of reassurance this week. I've really needed it. The friends who have provided it have been amazing, and i'm sure have looked at my name on their phone and had to take a deep breath and said 'ok here we go again'. But those people are the true friends. They are there for me when I am low. Its those times you find out who your real friends are. We all have enough pretend facebook friends or twitter followers.

But who is there for you when you're low?
Who will be the first person to jump in the car to help you out?
Who is the one who would move heaven and earth to get to you and help you out?

Think about your life and who those people are. Then thank them. Appreciate them. Tell them you love them.

The people who love you................they make you who you are.

Just remember that.

Take care

​Paul ​